Arj words. Started by Andrew Pattle and co-jbexers

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 You may have seen an e-mail that featured winners of a competition in the Washington Post to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a arj definition. This game has greatly inspired some my jbex colleagues, who have come up with a veritable flood of such arj words.
Many thanks to the major contributors: Paul Atkin, Richard Wall, Terry Marquand and Rob Strutt
Warning: my ROTting tuit supply runs out here
New words

Acrapolis fortified loo in ancient Greece
agittate to shake someone's shoulders because they are acting like a git
Agnus Deli Lamb Shop of God
aides-de-champ a boxer's seconds
alcohole mouth
amporium shop selling sound equipment
Anglecan one who believes that Christians should be 'Fishers of Men'
annalgesic treatment for writers cramp
aphitheatre a flea circus - with greenfly
apopelexy vitriolic rage of Catholic fundamentalist
arborting digging up a sapling
Ashby-de-la-Pouch Australian ghetto in Leicestershire
assassment job interview for a contract killer
automagically occurring just like that, spontaneously, without human intervention or effort
balelad song about evil times, the blues
ballyrina Irish dancer
banequet a meal to die for?
bawdinage crude banter
bite noire something you eat that disagrees with you
bobbysex naughty footwear
Boptist Gospel singer
bosoom telescopic breasts
bottledress milkman's uniform
branshee female spirit whose wail encourages bowel function
bugzwang cornering an insect
caboret dull evening entertainment
calitosis a bad smell in San Francisco
campire undead gay
capericorn pickled goat meat
caraffe long necked bottle
carnary meat eating songbird
cathalytic converter evangelical priest
centraflow diverting traffic down the middle of a road due to roadworks
charbohydrate burnt sugar
chinaera multi-chinned person
chlortle caustic laugh
Chublis a full-bodied wine
codaver a dead fish
cointraband smuggled orange liqueur
colasseum any place where women are thrown to the lions.
commonion the act of receiving a consecrated bhajee
compuker a machine operating on the SISO principle [Spew In Spew Out]
confadence quality exhibited by a shrinking violet
congloomerate a multi-national business the formation of which usually results in dismal prospects for customers and employees alike
conpatible ripe for setting up or making a mug of
conurboation area covered in houseboats
corparate strategy downsizing
corpirate shareholder asset stripper
costrate cut someone's bills off
crampaigner person who uses protest in order to restrict what others can do
crisism political tactic of deliberately lurching from crisis to crisis in order to divert attention away from something else
cunnilinctus the fun way of curing a cough [doesn't quite fit the rules of the game but too good to leave out]
dadolescence parental childhood regression
daffodul small, colourless flowering plant with nothing very interesting about it
dafterlife where comedians go when they die
dendruff loose bark on trees
desaderata things you wish you weren't so depressed about
dorkstation terminal used by socially challenged PC enthusiast
double dentendre a tooth with two purposes i.e. biting & chewing
dumpfounded reaction to discovering that you're an ex-partner
dyspopsia the suffering caused by a surfeit of hit records
ecognomics financial policies of Swiss bankers
egalitorian believing that all men are equal, but keep your damned working class hands off my property
ejagulation over-reaction to fine lines of a classic sports car
elephart a great and mighty wind
elfemminate acting like a fairy
embroodery making baby clothes
embruce Aussie hug
enancipation being freed from gay prejudices
Epictureanism philosophy that becoming a film star results in an easy life
equivacation inability to decide where to go on holiday
ethic cleansing exterminating people suspected of moral turpitude
evitamins parts of a musical that are good for you
extermitation eradication of ants and things
faminist someone who thinks all men should be starved
farcissus Spring flowering bulb that drops its petals in unfeasible circumstances
fasteroid a particularly nippy minor planet
fastration neutering service offered by Macdonald's, Burger King etc.
Filofux address book of sexual conquests
findaloo a fast-working curry
fircumcision ring-barking a conifer
flageollation punishment by being beaten with haricot beans
fmail email from a lady
freemaison member of a secret society of estate agents
gallergy sensitivity to things French
gastrognome vertically challenged food expert
germanium (not to be confused with the element of the same name) plant species indigenous to Northern Europe, with a creeping habit; at times, can become rampant and difficult to contain within borders; if left unchecked, could end up dom ghoulash stew made from corpses
glossamer shiny web
gluecose sweet sticky stuff
Gnousticism the doctrine that 'street savvy' is the way to salvation
hack-in-the-box a jumped up journalist
haddick post-op transsexual
haddict person hooked on fish
haggois Highland dialect
hagriculture cultivation of witches
halopecia loss of innocence
hamosexual a gay over-acting
hasochist someone who gains sexual pleasure from having pain inflicted on him/her with a church cushion
heirculean enormous effort to claim an inheritance
hevitation floating gently through the floor
hornithologist libidinous bird-fancier
incider trading illegal buying and selling of fermented apple juice
internazional the foreign policy of any right wing party
introsuction a more intimate way of getting people to know each other
jambrosia celestial food that will be available tomorrow
jeterosexual a straight member of the mile-high club
kinemastics bouncing breasts
lanorexic relating to local area network with only thin client systems (one for the techies)
laposuction weight reduction technique involving vigorous application of oral sex while in a sitting position
larionette puppet so huge it requires ropes not strings
lassiviousness lustfulness in a Scotsman
leaverage means used to ease out an unwanted employee
leeson a learning experience that a company doesn't accept until it has lost an awful lot of money
lesbean genetically modified variety of soya produced by splicing the genes from two female plants
llemming small rodent that throws itself down coal mines
lleisure centre four sheep tied to a lamp-post (environmentally friendly re-cycled joke)
llexicon A dictionary of Welsh - the only dictionary in the world that has to be printed in landscape
llocomotive Ivor the Engine
loadership stacking things to one's advantage while in a management position
Macademic member of a Scottish university or college
Macademy a Scottish university or college
Macclimatise something one needs to do before climbing Ben Nevis
Maccolade compliment from a Scotsman
Maccordion musical instrument played by someone too stingy to buy a piano
Macne skin disease usually affecting the ginger-haired
malody bad tune
malternative a choice of whiskeys
mantenance payments made by a woman to her ex-husband
martuary place for selling dead bodies
mawionette puppet with a speech impediment
McAco phony the sound of the Scottish Assembly in sitting
McActus a spiny Scottish plant
McArbre gruesome Scot
McAroni Scottish pasta
McAw parrot with tartan plumage
McHete large knife used for cutting a path through the heather
McRame a Scot getting knotted
McRedit a loan very rarely provided north of the border
mecho metallic ringing sound
medodrama Casualty, Dr Finlay's Casebook, Emergency Ward 10, ER, Holby City, Peak Practice...etc ad infinitum
miscullaneous victim choice of non-selective serial killer
missrepresentation transvestism
missunderstanding wrongly inferring from a woman's behaviour that she is unattached
mitinous refusing to wear gloves
monitrring listening for a phone call
mootuary meeting place of the dead
moritorium a period of respite from public opinion polls
mumento keepsake of one's mother
naffodil completely useless flowering plant
necromincer camp black magician
nesgligee what she changes into when she invites you back for a coffee
ocute sharp-eyed
ogalitarian one who leers at all women regardless of race, creed or colour
overtebrae exo-skeleton
palanoia knowing that it is a close friend who is out to get you
pansemonium outbreak of chaos in a gay bar
panteism belief in the divinity of knickers
pantichrist possessed lingerie model
parchipelago group of islands in area of low rainfall
pendetta violent feud between Parker and Scheaffer
performince theatrical act of camp artiste
Perry Cwmo singer famous for "She wore Red Dragons"
Perry Ncomo African dictator and singer
phlegnatic apathetic about being bitten by mosquitoes
pisston a cylindrical thing that goes up and down and emits urine
pitgeon a member of the dove family that has sneaked down a coal mine disguised as a canary
plactate pour milk over troubled waters
poclitician Tory MP
pornucopia an overflowing abundance of obscene material
prestipigitation conjuring up of evidence by the police
primsoll smart canvas shoes
probscenium stage for a strip-show
prolitician Labour MP
prosperty a building that brings its owners a lot of dosh
puncho boxer's gown
quagmine source of raw material for mudpacks
reinforcemeat strengthening by stuffing
relotionship interaction between aromatherapist and client
reportoire selection of stories/articles pre-written by newspapers and magazines that are either published at the appropriate moment (e.g. obituaries) or used to fill the publication when there is a dearth of decent material
Sabboth Saturday and Sunday, the weekend
salopecia inability to find Shropshire
sanimism a belief in the spirit of hygiene
scalamity mountaineering disaster
scaress the touch of the undead
scolosseum arena for a schoolboy fight
screwged tightly screwed
scurfing the net scraping scabby bits off the Internet
sesquipedalien an extra-terrestrial that is exactly 18 inches tall
sethnic having native racial characteristics of the Yorkshire Dales (one for viewers of Emmerdale Farm)
Shangri-Lla the place beyond the mountains where Welshmen believe they will live forever; England
shardholder investor in a failed pottery company
sinagogue where Jews marvel at their transgressions
sindals naughty footwear
slappers naughty footwear
soborific causing one to cry oneself to sleep
soxist someone who is prejudiced against wearers of socks
stabotage to destroy with a knife
sudist someone who gains sexual pleasure from inflicting pain with a bar of soap
tandemonium chaos in a bicycle shop
taffodil Spring flowering, yellow flowered bulb native to Wales
tepidoptera lukewarm butterflies
testincles musical balls
thermaphrodite someone who blows both hot and cold
tigration movement of people or animals across the Mesopotamian border
Tolpiddle Martyrs a group of Westcountrymen jailed for campaigning against the introduction of charges for using the local public conveniences
transmoggification magical transformation of a domestic cat
transwestites cowboys dressed up as cowgirls, and vice versa
turpintude the state of depravity achieved by highwaymen
tyromaniac someone who loves rubber fires
umbiblical cord the link between man and God, another term for Christ
vacupuncture pricking holes in Hoover bags
valvet fabric used to make clothes that turn people on (or off)
Veni Vidi Vaci I came, I saw, I hoovered
Veni Vidi Vili I came, I saw, I hated it
Veni Vidi Vini I came, I saw, I got plastered
Vespadrille motor scooter with rope tyres
videous appalling TV programme
Vosjock Scottish satellite
vowcher promissory note
wastercourse the downward path taken by life's failures
yashmac waterproof veil
zaphyr a gentle but extremely destructive breeze
Zenophobia fear of Japanese Buddhists
zippie a loud-mouthed puppet who's dropped out (one for erstwhile daytime TV addicts)
zitgeist the spirit of adolescence

Andrew Pattle